I'll have two orange squashes please, waiter.

It’s only just struck me that Latics have decided to officially launch their new Dutch-inspired away strip the day after England played Holland in an international friendly. Either this is all one big coincidence or these marketing types really know what they’re doing.

Actually, it’s more than likely the latter, as the kit launch even made Sky Sports News in the form of Dave Whelan, or Moneybags Whelan, as he has become known in the last 24 hours.

More on that later, but yes, the fact Mario and, erm, Rids(?) have put in appearance at the club shop to mark the occasion would seem to back up the theory that big-time sensibilities are beginning to kick in, at least where merchandising is concerned.

Well, I suppose we ought to face the fact we are a Premiership side now, and deserve some top-flight marketing. Top marks on that front, and I’m sure the Tangerine Dream will sell bucketloads as a consequence (despite the fact 50% of our fanbase seem to despise it, if experience is anything to go by).

But what of our national side? How did they fare against the other Tangerine Dream? Well, despite Rio Ferdinand’s best efforts, Holland only managed to scrape a draw thanks to some revitalised performances from the England forwards in the second half. A touch of the pre-season jitters perhaps, Rio? Well, you have all of eight months to get that out of your system or else Tightarse Bramble is gonna be hopping on that plane to South Africa, and I’m not sure if that would be a good thing…

Maybe Lee Cattermole has a better chance of making the England side, but he’ll have to earn his call-up at a club other than Wigan Athletic. Yes, after weeks of pestering and generally being a pain in the backside, Brucey has managed to poach the blighter from right under our nose, even after repeated affirmations that Catt would be going nowhere.

Did Big Dave get cold feet, or did his eyes light up at the thought of the eight million quid on offer? The official line is that the player wanted to leave, so in the end we had to let him go. In truth, who knows, but we are where we are and will have to make do and mend. Looking at our shortlist, or rather longlist, of midfielders currently battling it out for a starting slot, I’m sure we will have no real problems replacing him over the course of the season.

Oh, and England really need to do better than Glen Johnson, who is certainly isn’t worth the megabucks Liverpool bought him for.