June 18, 2024
masz Kuszczak, Brighton

After Saturday’s exhibition of defective (and deflective?) marksmanship, I suggested a post-mortem might be on the way. We can avoid unnecessary waffle, however, by summing it all up in one paragraph, so here goes.

At the risk of sounding like an actual football pundit (spits), one view of Latics Official’s handy highlights package (now in a conveniently gift-wrapped 2-minute YouTube video), reveals the obvious. Cue Harry Redknapp-esque analysis: “you hafta hit the target, you know”. Exhibit A:

Oftentimes, watching match highlights brings back horrible repressed memories, but in this instance it ain’t too bad – the first half was a joy to behold. With McManaman and Powell looking feisty, promise sprang anew for a goal-filled second 45. Owen Coyle makes a comment along those lines in his post-match musings:

Walking around Wigan town centre this afternoon, I couldn’t help but notice half a dozen Wild West-style bill posters adorning the numerous gas lamps. They read: “Holt: Wanted, Dead or Alive”.

But before we all jump to that all-too-familiar conclusion and brand Grant Holt the major culprit, remember he was the one person that forced Tomasz Kuszczak into a save. And anyway, I think that poster was Grant’s own personal appeal for unwanted copies of You Spin Me Round (Like A Record).

Okay, that was worse than those Fatboy Slim tracks I crowbarred into the match ‘report’. And I just explained the joke to you so it is now invalid and I am fast becoming the Michael McIntyre of football. So yeah, that Europa League, eh?

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