There is a damp stain at the top of my bathroom wall. As it is growing larger every day, it will eventually consume the whole ceiling, and maybe even cause the total collapse of my roof. Problem is, I don’t have the money to pay for it to be fixed. I can afford paint and…
In this post-fact world, it is difficult to know who you can trust. So trust nobody, not even yourself. Latics lifting the FA Cup in 2013? Quite clearly a hoax manufactured by cigar-chomping TV execs eager to raise their profiles and broaden their waistlines. Come on, that sort of thing simply doesn’t happen to Wigan…
It is confirmed, my friends – Jesus is a Wiganer… still. Along with his fellow Amigos, the wonderfully named Jesus Seba has returned to represent Wigan Athletic in a post-season legends match at Ashton Town. His first order of business as newly-appointed Official Club Saviour? Applying a swift elbow to Jakob Haugaard’s dodgiest shoulder… in…
Happy Poundsavah Chocolate Egg Day, dear reader! As all good parents know, this is the day you can start buying your egg-shaped confectioneries as they’re heavily reduced in price following Easter Sunday. In honour of this fact, here’s a sugary teaser: if no country or individual can legally lay claim to any part of outer…
Greetings… erm, small time weblog readers? Did I say that right? I am Ed Q Hitter, otherwise known as the actual editor of this website. You thought it was the wannabe politician, or maybe that teletext guy? Nah, I’m the one running the show. You’ll have to forgive my extreme rustiness – I haven’t written…
Well, ain’t that just a bummer? I missed this entire game as I was stuck at Westhoughton railway station seven whole hours waiting for a train to stop. I would even have endured a crummy one with no doors and a toothless gentleman requesting spare change (see above image), but nope. Funny, I always took…
Oh, didn’t you hear? They’re trialling a new grass green coloured football in the Northern Premier League next season. Wigan wildlife activist Alf Hart has backed this move, claiming the current shade of white is ‘too startling’ for protected species of pigeons that have made their home in the West Stand camera gantry. Yeah, I…
Yes, dear reader, it’s true – Arsene ‘Penguin’ Wenger did finally flap his wings hard enough to take off. When asked about staying at Arsenal for another season, he squawked ‘can’t see it’, scooped up a crisp packet with his beak and flew straight to China. And yes, it’s also very true that David Sharpe…
Ladies and gentlemen, The King has left the building… a pirate. Sayonara, Shortsman II. Your reign was as short as your shrinking pantaloons, but we shall forever remember you as the guy who ‘wasn’t as good as Rosler, but not quite as bad as Malky’. Speaking of which, here’s a quick history lesson for you!…
Do you ever read the Beano? Of course you do, it’s the UK’s most reliable print publication alongside Nice Jugs Monthly. And as a subscriber, I can confirm the latter does indeed feature many attractive vases. But in Dennis the Menace comics, the further in the distance a character may be standing, the more of…
There shall be no stupid teletext quiz this week. No longer shall I fiddle while Robin Park burns, because I live in fear, dear reader. For the second time in six months, I’m going to break the statistician’s code and cite the most tooth-grindingly awful season of my Latics supporting lifetime. This week in 2015,…
Oh, for a season without disruption. Oh, for Championship Manager style outcomes calculated using the raw skill data of individual players. Oh, for robotic super referees that make hypercorrect decisions 100.2% of the time. Actually, screw all that – it would be as boring as Michael McIntyre’s ‘soccer gossip’ page on Ceefax. Which they cancelled…