The FA Cup: Suitable headwear for post-match parties

I have not been too well of late. Yesterday I was hallucinating that Wigan Athletic won the FA Cup so I think a trip to the doctor for stronger medication is in order. I am still unsure whether all that really did happen and that I will wake up tomorrow morning to news that Latics actually lost to Macclesfield.

I am not a pie eater, but I chewed my celebratory steak pie with pride last night, and not *just* because it was free. Wigan Athletic have produced some of their very best performances in this competition, and yesterday was no exception to the established standard. There was a bit of luck, a bit of quality and of course the goal just when it was needed – dare I say, the perfect end to a perfect cup run?

You may have already seen this stuff, but it’s definitely worth posting up here. Please enjoy this wonderful selection of videos courtesy the FA.

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Now, I know what you’re thinking. “How on earth did he have time to travel home and type up this article so quickly?” Well, it’s quite simple, really – I ‘borrowed’ Uncle Dave’s helicopter from the roof of the town hall and parked it behind the Wembley arch so nobody would know.

There was a sticky moment when said chopper was briefly visible on ITV’s television coverage, but I think I got away with it because my co-pilot, the Honey Monster, distracted viewers with a risqué dance. Yes indeed, I kidnapped him after his appearance at the Tottenham game and he’s been living in my spare room ever since. I originally did it to avoid the bedroom tax but have since realised owning a furry, cereal-obsessed creature has other benefits.

Look out for my forthcoming paperback self-help book, How The Honey Monster Changed My Life, in Waterstones next week. Only £9.99 while stocks last! I’m currently printing the final batch of them with my dot matrix printer, so if you’d like an advance copy send me a telegram NOW!

What this has to do with the FA Cup Final, I have no idea. But the sad news is that I was unable to make it down to London due to unforeseen circumstances entirely beyond my control. I’ll say only this: the JWAW medicine cabinet has been taking an awful hammering for the past three days or so. That idiot coughing behind me on the bus last week will surely pay for his blasé approach to personal hygiene.

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The Wigan Athletic sideshow rolls into town

Ladies and gentlemen, it is within sight. In less than two days’ time, Wigan Athletic will be playing their part in English football’s greatest sideshow, the FA Challenge Cup Final. Would you ever have believed that as you trudged back from the DW unhappy with a draw against Bournemouth all those months ago?

Yes, there have been fortunate near-misses and an even luckier run of the draw balls, but the fact remains. It is there in blue and white for all to see, flags and scarves adorning shop windows the length and breadth of the borough. Screw the league, this is where the history is being written, right here this weekend.

Contents

West Brom/Swansea super-review special (0:00); What does the FA Cup mean to you? (14:28); Wembley predictions (40:18); Next week’s number one single (48:03)

Get involved!

Progress With Unity is currently the only Wigan Athletic fan podcast on the web. If you would like to get involved or have any topics you’d like to be discussed please get in touch with Barry at wigan@vitalfootball.co.uk, marking your email PWU Podcast.

I have something special in store for you tomorrow, but if you simply cannot wait until Christmas Day (or 10 May, whatever), you can unwrap your present a day early by checking out the PWU iTunes and RSS pages post haste. There is also a mobile app but I have no clue what you would do with that because I’m a borderline technophobe.

A final word of encouragement for those still down in the dumps. When you’re a kid, you don’t dream of winning the league, you dream of lifting the FA Cup at Wembley, climbing those steps and receiving the trophy from the Queen. Everybody will be watching little Wigan fulfil their wildest dreams this Saturday afternoon.

First on the coach for a sunny start to the journey.

In-coach breakfast. Haven’t had steak pie in ages. And don’t worry, I cleaned up the mess afterwards.

On the road to Wembley. Note how, the closer we got to the capital, the wetter it became. Strange, it’s normally the other way around.

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