Category: JWAW first-hand reports
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Wigan 0 Liverpool 2: Welcome to Hell
Welcome to Wigan. We don’t have a Waitrose, Harrods, John Lewis, Morrisons, an airport, a cathedral, a glass museum… or very much at all, come to think of it. But the one thing we do have, apart from the George Formby Memorial Pier, is football. From Wigan United (as opposed to Wigan-United) and Wigan Town […]
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Wigan 0 Manchester United 2: Too much respect
“The reason we struggled to beat any of the Big Four for so long,” spake the sage of Latics legend, “is because we gave them all too much respect.” I can’t remember whether it was Paul ‘2 Cup Finals’ Scharner or Arjan ‘2 Big Elbows’ de Zeeuw that uttered those fabled words. Which is tantamount […]
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Turning Wigan’s air blue: Paul Scharner and Arjan de Zeeuw’s colourful return
“To all the kids present, I am sorry for the foul language,” compère Martin Ode apologised through an uncomfortable half-grimace. It was too late – the Q&A session had already ended. At least a dozen kids had already asked their mother what ‘volk, volk, volk, volk’ could mean in English. But no-one complained. When you’re […]
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Wigan 1-4 Barnsley: Dog days
End of season dinner time. As the nation prepared to park their hounds outside polling stations island-wide, Wigan Athletic’s resident canines were leashed firmly to a large post inside the DW Stadium. Ever-so-slightly tender, they shielded their bleary eyes from the glaring spotlights, a bittersweet flashback to last weekend’s festivities on the Golden Mile. Legend […]
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Wigan 4-1 Southend: Orchestrated Muppetry
Francis E Dec had it right all along. In this world-wide four billion eyesight camera mass multimedia generation, aren’t we all puppets? I only ask because I just discovered I’ve had a large wooden pole wedged into my backside for the past 30 years. It just so happens that Wigan Athletic’s most prominent celebrity supporter […]
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Wigan 1-0 Coventry: Merry Caldwellmas
Gary was taken aback by what he saw in the mirror. Overnight, he had grown a thick, bushy beard so long it fused with his chest hairs. “Congratulations on completing your first year as manager,” came a mysterious voice that sounded an awful lot like Owen Coyle’s. “The beard is your present. Next year you […]
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Wigan 1-0 Rochdale: Road rage
Note: this article contains violence, conjecture and Grant Holt. You have been warned. Before this weekend, the League One table was finely balanced with most sides having played 37 games. But one round of international fixtures later and BOOM! Teams are flying off in all directions, getting pulled over by over-zealous cops and ploughing through […]
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Wigan 1-1 Peterborough: Happy Sharpeyversary
Give or take the odd leap day, it has been approximately one year since Uncle Dave tossed those precious club keys across the Champagne Lounge to grandson David Sharpe. “I’m off to Barbados for the next ten years. Look after ‘er, will ya,” he bellowed cheerfully, the last of his words becoming faint as he […]
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Wigan 3-0 Bury: Blame it on the bogey
“Goals for: 3. Goals against: 8. Points won: 1. Cups ripped from our snotty grasp: 2.” Thus spake Latics’ resident statman, a look of mild disgust steadily encroaching upon his otherwise gentle features. 4-0 malletings in the Ben Watson Memorial Trophy can transform the most optimistic of supporters into miserable mopers in the short space […]
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Wigan 0-0 Oldham: Rugball
Jonathan Jackson must know a very good carpet fitter. Because every time I have attempted to lay one, it has taken much longer than a couple of days. In fact, I think I still need to pin down the shag pile behind that cupboard – you know, the one containing the large plastic cup gathering […]