Category: JWAW first-hand reports
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Wigan 2-1 Brighton: Chowing down on Colonel Cald’s secret sauce
Thumbing through my inbox this week, I was delighted to discover a ‘personal email from Gary Caldwell’… correspondence from Superman himself! Sadly I only got a brief glimpse before accidentally deleting it along with fake tax rebates and false promises from Ugandan princes, so I couldn’t tell you if it was indeed written by Gary, […]
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Wigan 0-2 Derby: Easter Sack Hop
I had a Eureka moment this Easter weekend. As someone who barely gets the opportunity to watch games featuring anyone other than Wigan Athletic, it can be hard to retain any sort of perspective on a situation, be it positive or negative. In our case, it’s only when you watch Arsenal, Chelsea and even the […]
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Wigan 0-1 Leeds: Deconstruction
Oh football, why must you tease us so? Why do you offer us the final sweet in the packet before swiftly throwing it to the dog the moment you see us reach for it? You shouldn’t do that anyway because human chocolate is bad for dogs – it simultaneously breaks all their legs, if thenetvet.notarealsite.com […]
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Wigan 0-1 Sheffield Wednesday: Wars of the Roses Tin III With a Vengeance
Agh, I don’t need those blasted ‘year in review’ talking heads shows on Channel 5! Every New Year’s Day, I lie back in my rocking chair and replay events of the previous year in the tatty old VCR box that is my brain. It may be plagued by bad reception and serious tracking issues, but […]
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Wigan 0-0 Millwall: Virtual inanity
It isn’t often I get to see a game that doesn’t feature Wigan Athletic these days, but on Sunday afternoon I made a point of watching the Stoke-Swansea Premier League match. It *did* mean forfeiting lunch due to my habit of spraying my TV screen with half-chewed mashed potato when the ref gives a dodgy […]
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Wigan 0-0 Nottingham Forest: Huws the McManaman now, dog?
“And it was onne the thirrtieth of Sepptember that the Wyganne Piemen and Nottyngham Trees dydd battle jn the fields offe the Northwestern Lands; wyth Uncle Joe and whomsoever that did creatte the Vymto tonnic in attendance; kycking leather from vyllagge to vyllagge with great viggour; and internette bloggers wrytyng artijcles of questionable punctuatjon and […]
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Wigan 1-2 Ipswich: Unhappy Monday
Welcome, sports fans, to Mooonday Niiight Footbaaaalll! For 90 minutes, you can forget the drudgery of the week’s most dreary day with a ball game of extreme radicalness. Prepare yourself for the biggest hits and most awesome touchdowns this side of Mrs Sippy! Yeah, she’s pretty big, but not as big as Mooonday Niight Footballl! […]
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Wigan 1-0 Blackpool: Men Against Boyeson
Hangovers are invariably horrendous, and I’m not just talking about the films. I’m dreading that sobering up process even more than a marathon of said movie franchise, as after a spot of Callum McChamomile tea, I’m afraid I will discover that half the team has disappeared… and not just because my drunken double vision will […]
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Wigan 0-0 QPR: Hack To The Future
As I munched my Friday lunch, it was with great disappointment I learned that Latics had already lost 4-2. But before I could pick up the phone for a refund on my ticket, I received a Twitter notification saying Gary Caldwell’s time machine had malfunctioned, and the game was on a Friday. Good job, as […]
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Wigan 0-1 Millwall: Hearts at home, minds elsewhere
At times like this I wonder whether the Football League fixtures really are computer generated, or if they pay a little man to sit at his desk with an unsharpened HB and Filofax. Do they lock him in his office without breakfast or an emergency supply of Ovaltine, forcing him to quickly scribble down roughly […]