Tag: Marc-Antoine Fortune
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Wolves 2-2 Wigan: Is it a Perch? Is it a McClean?
*Alcohol-fuelled studio audience applauds wildly* “And the final contestant to play our first game is… Marc-Antoine Fortune! Come on down and join fellow contestants Leon Barnett and Nouha Dicko for our big money ‘Guess My Transfer Fee’ Round!” OK, this is where I switch off the television, because that is one show I don’t want […]
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Burton 2-1 Wigan: I hate to be Burton your bubble
This just in: the FA is proud to announce a new sponsor for the League Cup from 2014. In a five-year deal with Lurpak, the trophy shall henceforth be known as the Butter Cup. And following lengthy negotiations with the British Farmers’ Board, the runners-up will now receive the prestigious Egg Cup in addition to […]
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Sheffield Wednesday 0-3 Wigan (0-4 on Aggregate): Owlin’ mad
Football Association, you’ve just missed an opportunity more golden than an overpaid striker’s £500 Adibok boots. If you were small time internet bloggers, you would certainly have spied the chance of a quick laugh and scheduled this re-rescheduled contest for a Wednesday. See, Sheffield Wednesday on a Wednesday evening, because they’re named after a day […]
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Wigan 2-1 Charlton: Late Train To Noah’s Arksville
In many ways, the transfer window is like a train journey through a busy city centre. Once January is over, the doors are securely locked for safety and the next and final stop is End of Season Station. I’m not sure how this metaphor accounts for free agents, but let’s pretend they’re either stowaways or […]
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MK Dons 1-3 Wigan: Don Uwe Forget About Me
It was with great disappointment I learned that Sir Ben Watson had been harshly overlooked for the much-vaunted Ballon D’or (literal French: ‘accurate ball-kicking’) award. It is understandable that he could not attend the ceremony in person due to 10 hour-long negotiations for a new 45-year contract including a lifetime’s supply of Uncle Joe’s pie […]
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Wigan 3-0 Bournemouth: Emile O’ Fortune
There is no reason why video games can’t be a force for sporting good – Formula One drivers, for example, play XBOX racing titles to familiarise themselves with that weekend’s Grand Prix circuit. However, there are two equally valid reasons why footballers shouldn’t prepare by booting up their copy of Football Manager. Firstly, they are […]
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Yeovil 0-1 Wigan: Record Breakers
Long ago, when I was still entombed in the educational institutions’ impenetrable iron sarcophagus, I recall lurking around the social sciences noticeboard and reading an example question for their A-Level test paper. My memory cells are the equivalent of an Amstrad CPC after you’ve flicked the off switch (i.e. non-existent), but I think it was […]