Tag: Report
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Crewe 2-3 Wigan: Paint seen nothin’ yet
Never underestimate the role of entertainment in modern society. Without it, we are relegated to the role of a mere machine, performing the same three repetitive tasks until our motherboard melts to a sticky mush. Then our owner buys an upgraded model, tossing us onto the ‘robot mountain’ they really ought to bury in the […]
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Wigan 0-0 Walsall: ‘Zine it in the stars
Today’s post is dedicated to the programme and fanzine sellers that populate the bridge over the River Pie. With the return of Cockney Latic earlier this year, there are now three independent Wigan Athletic fanzines in regular circulation, and it is possible to pick up a fresh new glossy mag each month. In this age […]
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Wigan 2-2 Millwall: If you’re gonna do it, do it properly
Today’s post is rated 15 by the LBBC (Latics Board of Blog Classification) due to violent situations. And before we proceed, JWAW would like to point out that it doesn’t condone lashing out, at least not when the ref’s looking your way. Still here? Really? You gotta be crazy… Many more one-liners like that and […]
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Oldham 1-1 Wigan: Lactic fantastic
Hmm, Latics vs Latics… wait, this could get very messy indeed – we require a non-controversial naming convention here. I can only use ‘Oldham’ and ‘Wigan’ so many times before Google Penguin (or whatever it’s called now) relegates this post to the seventh page of search results. With 100 results per page. A few seasons […]
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Wigan 2-1 Fleetwood: Job’s a gudgeon
When I heard Latics were playing Fleetwood Town this weekend, I thought, “my cod! What a brilliant op-perch–tuna-ty to embellish my whiting with some crappie puns”. Fleetwood is famously the fish and chip capital of the north, and since David ‘Frites Haute Cuisine’ Sharpe has a much-publicised soft spot for upmarket fried pollack, I thought […]
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Port Vale 3-2 Wigan: Welcome to the jungle
Interpretation can be a simultaneously dangerous and wonderful thing. It is much like a front tooth in that most people have one, and no two gnashers are in the same state of decay. And that’s the sort of thing we love… the challenge of analysing a press conference banner, that is. The actual ‘Laws of […]
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Chesterfield 2-3 Wigan: Cleanout
Electricians and plumbers the length and breadth of Wigan Borough can finally rest easy, for Latics’ overworked transfer window washing machine has now been shoved to the back of the garage for a well-earned rest. In the past few months, 24 pairs of blue and white socks have been fed into its welcoming mouth only […]
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Wigan 1-0 Crewe: Breakout
Remember when your school teacher used to say, “if you don’t like it, you’re free to leave at any time”? Of course, nobody ever did – they were too scared to even contemplate asking for a pencil sharpener. Tales of kids being banished to Darkest Westhoughton were more than enough to dissuade any potential deserters… […]
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Gillingham 2-0 Wigan: Comic belief
It’s no fun when we win. Northern stand up tradition dictates that you must chain derogatory remarks like Wojciech Szczesny does cigarettes… but it’s hard to do that when Wigan Athletic have just beaten Scunthorpe 3-0. Not that I claim to be one of these ‘comedians’ (I have trouble sitting down, never mind standing up), […]
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Wigan 3-0 Scunthorpe: Reclusivity agreement
Oh, didn’t you hear? Wigan Athletic has become reclusive now. The newspapers no longer write about it, television presenters barely mention it and not even regional radio stations seem to care about our FA Cup heroes of 2013. There can be only one reason – the club has retreated to its mud hut for an […]