July 16, 2024

Got any aspirin?

Got any aspirin?
Got any Scotch?

Remember on the old Saturday afternoon videprinter, whenever anyone scored more than six goals they used to spell it out in letters, as if to rub it in the faces of the losing team? Yeah, well, I’m glad they don’t uphold that custom anymore. Incidentally, I’ve done it in the title of this post, so if you’re a Wigan fan, don’t read it.

We’ve seen it so many times this season I really need not cite specific incidents. When Wigan go 2-0 down, it really could be any number against: we become so dejected and humiliated we stop caring and might as well be stood at the bar or playing Nintendo or something. Maybe we ought to have abandoned this afternoon as a bad project and conceded the game midway through the second half, because it really did become unnecessary torture.

The finger of blame naturally points at the defenders in situations such as this, and indeed Edman, Bramble and Boyce are mostly at fault for… well, at least seven goals. But we shall not dwell on that one too much, because for the really bad game the back four had it was more of a case of not being good enough. We really struggled to keep up with Lennon and Defoe for all ninety minutes, and were quite flattered by the half-time scoreline.

Actually, I do Wigan a little bit of a disservice in that respect. They fought well in the latter part of the first half and could have pinched one, but you know what? I don’t think it would have made a bit of difference, because Spurs would have got a hatful anyway.

We did manage to score somewhere in the middle of this, Paul Scharner squeezing one past Gomes when Latics were three — or was it four? — goals behind. It’s simply typical of the bloke’s arrogance that he should think he could be anywhere near as good as Thierry Henry and get away with a blatant handball… but he somehow did. No doubt that’ll inflate his ego to proportions so large his haircut will be scaring passing air traffic in Wigan next weekend. Though the passing movement in the buildup was pleasant and rather encouraging, it’s hardly worth mentioning, especially because we had to resort to foul methods to even get a shot on target in the second half.

At least we’ve sorted the issue of whether Figueroa will come straight back into the starting XI against Sunderland, and if you can’t work that out then maybe you should go back to your Subbuteo or shopping at Tesco or something.

Best to forget this afternoon ever happened… I’ve already prepared an alibi for Titus Bramble: he was having tea and watching cricket with me all afternoon. It was really rather spiffing, and he says we ought to do the same next Saturday at 3PM.

Screenshot from Hamlet advert copyright Hamlet.

12 thoughts on “Tottenham 9(NINE)-1 Wigan: Cigar?

  1. HARD LOOK LADS THESE FREAK RESULTS COME AROUND. once in a thousand years we had one at LIVVERPOOL remember 7-1 you will be okay next week

  2. Knowing our horrible inconsistency this season you may just be right. Right now, though, I feel worse than a walrus at Weight Watchers.

    Thanks for taking the time to comment!

  3. couldn’t of happened to a better team or manager. us jacks are glad he jumped ship to wigan we now playing better football and look much stronger than last year. lmao

  4. Ah, you have stumbled upon a very good point there: today was mostly about the players and their inability to meet Tottenham’s standards rather than the manager himself. I’m guessing we would have lost by just the same margin had we gone, for example, five at the back, but what good would that have done?

  5. Believe me, although the past 12 or so months have mostly been good, it’s often no picnic being a Spurs fan. I’ve never had a problem with Wigan and hope you guys bounce back. You lost a few key players but have proved you’re a very good team who on their day can compete with the top teams. What you did to Chelsea still makes me smile. Good luck.

  6. Good luck, Wigan. You came to win today and played well (up until 0-2), unlike Stoke, and you will be fine. Some excellent finishing by my team Spurs, but your side is more than decent so don’t lose the faith. This won’t happen again. Good luck to the Latics for the rest of the season.

  7. I cant even imagine the journey home and the feeling waking up tomorrow. I guess these things happen and its hard luck. Spurs lost to Arsenal 3 – 1 the other week and that hurt them bad. But the have got on with it and continued with their season. Wigan need to do the same. Put this behind them and move on. Good luck.

  8. Yeah, I do have a sneaking suspicion we’ll be alright this season, though there’ll no doubt be a few more pants-wetting moments along the way.

    Tottenham have a very good chance of making that #4 spot thanks to a brilliant manager (should be the England manager IMHO) and some real quality players. Don’t let those fools at Arsenal tell you you’ve no chance, I’ve been more impressed by Spurs than Arsenal so far this year.

    Just hope Crouch, Lennon and Defoe play as good as they did today at the World Cup because we’ll be in with a big shout.

  9. Just call it a bad day at the office guys. At HT Wigan were in the game but unfortunately for you guys we got 2 quick goals 10mins into the 2nd half and your heads went.
    I said to my brother after the game that i actually felt sorry for you guys cos you played decent football and even when you were 5,6,7-1 down you still tried to keep ball and play it on the deck.

    It’s a freak result where everything we touched turned to gold in the 2nd half. Im sure Wigan will bounce back and will be safe from relegation. There are worse teams than you in this division, for example Birmingham, Wolves, Portsmouth, Bolton mand Blackburn.

  10. Thanks to all you kind Spurs fans for dropping by! I only wish our defence wasn’t as generous. See you at the DW in February.

  11. like a lot of spurs fans, i think this was just a freak result. spurs did play well but bloody 9-1, i feel what else could it be but a freak. i feel bad for all of you. best wishes for the rest of the season.

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