Bleh! Bleh! Velcom, vatchers, to PWU’s All Hallows’ Eve Special. Zis is me, ze one and only Vlad the Impala Sedan, ze North West’s answer to zat vampire dude from ze black and white vilms. And you can tell vrom my accent zat I am definitely vrom ze coffins of Transylvania and not zis pace known as Vigan. Bleh.
Sorry about that, I was getting carried away by the spirit of this spookiest of seasons. This week is PWU’s Halloween Bash complete with king size pumpkins (pumpkings?) and fake blood made of jam and ink freshly squeezed from the back end of a red Biro. Er, just don’t expose it to your skin otherwise you might contract vampirism or blood poisoning. And don’t chew pencils otherwise you’ll transmorph into an apple tree!
In stark contrast to last week’s Rantmas special, nobody but the David Dickinson-looking bloke in the above picture was particularly angry. Following a long overdue victory, the calm and civil chat has returned… for now. But do not fear, watchers, for once the code word (sacked) is uttered, all heck really *will* break loose, and it’s set to be far less family friendly than that Michael Jackson music video. Can’t wait, personally (cha’mone-a).
YouTube version
Contents: Spooky intros (0:00); Bacon Saver Special: Derby review including the Uncanny Statman (0:45), fishy bookings (3:30), special guest Hoover Rosler’s hair-raising interview (5:02) and carving our own niche (14:20); league table analysis (24:00) including goals make the difference (25:50); craving cottage industry: Fulham preview (27:20) including RefWatch (30:00); Brighton preview: beam him back, Scotty (38:00); All Gone Latics mini-quiz (39:00); exorcising Kremey spectres (40:47)
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There was so much to cover on last week’s Uber-Rant Edition that we neglected to mention the return of Mr 55 Yards himself, Maynor Figueroa. If one were of the positive persuasion, one might term him a ‘lucky charm’ as Latics have not lost since his return to the club earlier this month. I wonder how much it would cost to bring him back on a permanent deal? Maybe if we offer Brucey Boy the key to Mr Whelan’s Barbadian holiday home with its own built-in Tesco superstore he might gift him to us for free.
Actually, this will probably happen now as I know Steve reads these blogs posts. He’s been a fan ever since I started this website… just weeks after he left. Back then it was called ‘Bring Back Bruce’ and featured weekly interviews with various members of staff around his Mesnes Park stately home. Steve, make sure you’re subscribed to PWU’s Twitter, iTunes, RSS and app pages, because I may have a surprise Halloween dinner for you. It may involve spooky value beans with ghoooulish added salt. Boo-wahahaha and such!