Just think of all the things you can do in 480 minutes – go through a quarter of PWU’s back catalogue, or listen to half a Pink Floyd album. Or maybe you could count the blades of grass in your back garden three times over? Personally, I’ve been at the DW Stadium attempting to pick…
As children, we had a tendency to cycle through fads. Our developing attention spans only stretched as far as a few months learning the ‘latest’ yo-yo tricks and how to successfully flip milk bottle caps… yeah, looking back, that was a bit of a strange one. Thus, our relationship with football stickers was fleeting –…
OK, it seems a few people have noticed that our striker ‘can’t score goals‘. But what about the midfielders that can’t pass, or the other striker that’s struggling to get into position, or the centre forwards failing to even make the bench on matchdays? And what about the Muppet that ate half of my chips…
At this moment, supporting Wigan Athletic is like walking around with three-inch thick lenses – everything is magnified a thousandfold. Those little misplaced passes and wonderful double saves become heart-rendingly monstrous as that May deadline appears on the watery horizon. You tread carefully for fear of bumping into Mr Fulham or Dr Rotherham, inadvertently knocking…
I was asked to change the name of the website this week. Don’t worry, I don’t plan to do so until my contract with Mr Seba has expired or the supply of pies stipulated in said arrangement runs dangerously low – whichever comes first. Let’s just say that thanks to the bounteous pastry mine at…
For three hours this afternoon, the entire country came to a total standstill. Nah, it wasn’t in honour of Wigan’s latest Most Important Game of the Season, but because the BBC website crashed under the weight of ‘heavy traffic’. This was surely the work of a crazed Jeremy Clarkson and, if the above image is…
Mr Whelan would make a great stand-up comedian. Never before have his improvisational skills been more apparent than at 2:55pm on Saturday afternoon at the nightclub that is the DW Stadium. People jeering behind your back? Remind them of the solitary advantage you have over them – that they haven’t won the FA Cup in…
Oh football, why must you tease us so? Why do you offer us the final sweet in the packet before swiftly throwing it to the dog the moment you see us reach for it? You shouldn’t do that anyway because human chocolate is bad for dogs – it simultaneously breaks all their legs, if thenetvet.notarealsite.com…
Thank you, thank you all! We had so many positive comments about last week’s guest appearance from the resident Book Cycle fax machine that we’ve booked the human telephone for later in the season. And just to translate the previous paragraph, that ‘fax machine’ interference was actually down to a mystery panellist forgetting to turn…
Help, Mummy, I can’t cope with all this change! A new manager, a new chairman, new board members, new soup for sale in the concourse… agh! Can we have Carl Bradshaw and Stuart Barlow back, please? And a coffee-fuelled Matt McCann screaming over the top of a teletext feed of the game… but only in…
Numerous times over the past 20 years, I said I “would let you know when it finally sinks in”. Breaking the 100 points in a season barrier, scraping Premier League survival on a goal difference of just +1, recovering from 2-0 down to defeat West Ham in that intense relegation battle, and of course lifting…
Don’t let the February weather or those twelve remaining games convince you otherwise – today’s match was as significant as any end-of-season decider deep into April or at the beginning of May. West Ham 2011? A relatively simple task in comparison. Sheffield United 2007? Pah, the tasteless 30-second microwave meal to this afternoon’s four course…