Tag: Match reports
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Wigan 0 Fulham 0, Again
Come on, you have to admit it’s hilarious. I’m still laughing four days later, and I’ll probably be chuckling about it in four years. Since it will be immortalised in [Insert ZZZ-list celebrity here]’s Xmas Crackers DVD compilation of crazy ‘cock’ ‘ups’, I can relive that moment in glorious slightly-above-standard-definition for as long as I […]
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Norwich 2 Wigan 1: Law of the Beamback
“An away draw is worth 30,000 Championship points. And free pie and peas at half time.” …So goes the Ancient Wiganese proverb, the revered Law of the Beamback. Though this may at first seem erroneous, Statman’s trusty exercise book seems to indicate that ‘beamed back’ Latics matches are three and a half times as tough […]
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Sheffield Wednesday 2 Wigan 1: Dry birds
I see what ya did there, EFL! And it is certainly the right decision to schedule Sheffield Wednesday v Wigan for sunny, shiny September. Any later and that mischievous Big Man in the Sky is likely to douse the Hillsborough surface with his never-ending salt drink, just like in December 2013. As you may recall, […]
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Wigan 0 Queens Park Rangers 1: Crack-a-toe-a
On this day in 1883, the mighty Krakatoa volcano erupted, spewing a lethal jelly of hot earth juice and crispy moles across the uninhabited island of Krakatau. At first, it was truly a spectacle to behold. Thrilled inhabitants of neighbouring islands gathered to witness the breathtaking light show, grabbing their 3D glasses and extra large […]
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Nottingham Forest 4 Wigan 3: Last goal wins
“League One is a slice of thrice-iced Victoria sponge. But that passing in your own six yard box stuff simply won’t fly in the cut-throat Championship,” growled Latics Fan A. “Don’t change a darn thing! Confidence in consistency can carry you through a league of any quality,” cried Latics Fan B. “We aren’t sure what […]
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Wigan 1 Birmingham 1: The Wigan Olympics
Around this time every four years, the people of Wigan go sports crazy. Today I saw a bloke dive bomb into his back yard paddling pool and a kid toss a hammer through some poor guy’s fishing net. Yesterday someone lobbed a pool ball from their shoulder into the beer garden, before… well, I won’t […]
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Wigan 3 Blackburn 0: The Curse of Coyle
In just one week’s time, it will be exactly 39 years since NASA launched their Voyager II space probe. Contained within this expensive collection of screws and mirrors is the infamous Golden Record, an analogue catalogue of mankind’s musical endeavour up to and including the space year 1977. Originally, the record was intended to include […]
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Oldham 2 Wigan 1: Pretension-free
The League Cup has fallen upon desperate times. Following the withdrawal of its plastic cash manufacturing sponsor, it has become destitute, walking the urban jungles completely naked save for a codpiece marked ‘property of the EFL’. But it’s much better this way. Though people initially grimace at the sight of this unkempt Tuesday night beast, […]
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Bristol City 2 Wigan 1: Summer sucks
Summertime football is crap. Tuesday evening Soccerdome knockabouts, the Betfred Cup and forced friendlies with Salfordchester United are all roughly of the same (low) importance. Yes, even the Euros seemed a bit token, tapering off into an apathetic mish-mash of fluttering moths and semi-interested onlookers. Yet the tournament promised so much: the Italy-Germany shootout was […]
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Wigan 0 Liverpool 2: Welcome to Hell
Welcome to Wigan. We don’t have a Waitrose, Harrods, John Lewis, Morrisons, an airport, a cathedral, a glass museum… or very much at all, come to think of it. But the one thing we do have, apart from the George Formby Memorial Pier, is football. From Wigan United (as opposed to Wigan-United) and Wigan Town […]