I heard a joke that made me chuckle today. It went something like: “What’s the difference between a box of matches and Wigan Athletic? A box of matches has a striker.” Forget the fact that rough, sandpapery stuff on a matchbox isn’t officially called a ‘striker’ because it’s only a silly joke. Besides, it’s now…
Sorry to be pe-trollin’ you with that title and image caption, but I thought I’d prepare you for the manic media meltdown that is Transfer Deadline Day (always capitalised). On that basis, we have to cover it, eh? Please find attached a 14-page document outlining the skills and attributes of each Latics player as determined…
Hangovers are invariably horrendous, and I’m not just talking about the films. I’m dreading that sobering up process even more than a marathon of said movie franchise, as after a spot of Callum McChamomile tea, I’m afraid I will discover that half the team has disappeared… and not just because my drunken double vision will…
It’s OK, we’re fine. What did you expect, a second winless week to have us all negative? Heh, well you’re… correct, actually. It seems our enthusiasm has departed on a plane to Orlando, and it’s already ridden the Back To The Future Ride three times. I can think of four chaps who also wish they…
At the Reading game, you might have heard a lone voice from the away end belting out a drunken rendition of ‘can we play you every week?’ Turns out it wasn’t a supporter, but a player known as Sean Morrison – the very same that edged his side ahead with just over ten minutes to…
Fancy a spot of cheeky time travel on this unseasonably windy Saturday evening? Why not – it’ll be a welcome distraction from the three days of nose-hair trimming until our next fixture. The (electronic) record books tell me it is precisely 11 years since Wigan played out an exciting… 1-1 draw with Preston North End…
Grazing livestock cover their ears as an ominous, eardrum-thumping drone fills the meadow at PWU Farm. It is the unmistakable hallmark of a winless week, a large airborne vehicle of extraterrestrial origin ready to suck up your season in its Tractor Beam of Doomangloom. It took us an hour to escape those other-worldly miscreants, who…
This just in: the FA is proud to announce a new sponsor for the League Cup from 2014. In a five-year deal with Lurpak, the trophy shall henceforth be known as the Butter Cup. And following lengthy negotiations with the British Farmers’ Board, the runners-up will now receive the prestigious Egg Cup in addition to…
I wasn’t in a great mood yesterday afternoon. “What? No, go away. I’m still watching the cricket… or at least, footage of men in macs draining a sodden outfield. Blasted northern weather. Sigh, suppose I’d better just accept that the football season, with its relatively tame, sledge-free 90-minute test matches, has begun once again.” Of…
If this is the ‘Back to School’ edition, I’d like more of the same for the rest of the season, please! Free toys, games and packets of cheesy corn snacks are on the menu for the fully grown men collecting at the local education centre. That’s the Beech Hill Book Cycle, not a primary school….
Just when this week’s Big Kick-Off needed more hype, a predatory Progress With Unity bursts forth, microphone in hand, to get those exclusive interviews. Except *this* was an open forum, and it was all reported on News Now within minutes of the event. But don’t you dare spoil our one chance to be relevant, you…