July 16, 2024

Question of the Week: Just what was written on those little bits of paper Gary Caldwell was passing to the Wigan Athletic players during the match against Bradford on Saturday?

You probably saw Calds carefully rip bits of paper from his flowery notebook before furtively shoving them into his unsuspecting players’ hands. But what exactly was scribbled on them?

To find the answer, AGL spent 15 minutes scouring the DW pitch post-match to retrieve said scraps of paper. And now, after hours of carefully deciphering Captain Cald’s barely legible scrawl, we can exclusively reveal their surprising contents.

From the pen of Garold Cadwell Esq. & Friends

“I would have sent you a text but someone half-inched me iPhone.”

“Fold here to make the world’s best paper aeroplane.”

“Simon Says give Yanic the ball.”

“You have a nice bottom. — Your secret admirer in ES2”

“If anyone knows the answer to 4 down (see attached crossword) I will buy them a bucket of fried chicken.”

“Don’t forget to put your clocks forward next week.”

“When the Moon is in the fourth house you will meet a squat, dark stranger in shorts and socks with Krispy Kreme Donuts. (c)Koi Lee Fortune Cookie Co 2012”

“You have chewing gum stuck on your backside.”

“Beware: reading this message may leave you temporarily vulnerable to surprise kidney punches.”

“This voucher good for one meat pie in the DW canteen (subject to availability).”

The Walking Dead has failed to record because we forgot to leave the Sky box switched on. — Mrs Jaaskelainen”

“Oh no, I think the ink in my pen is running o-“

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