An Ode to Owen

Note: The author apologises in advance for this article, which may contain extreme misinformation and is for entertainment purposes only.

You know, I’m only now realising how much I miss Owen Coyle. In his few short months at the club, he offered much more golden comedic material than every other Wigan Athletic manager combined – and yes, that includes good old Brucey Bonce.

Of course, ‘Columba’ didn’t seem so great at the time. Those exasperated Blackburn Rovers fans already petitioning for him to be sacked clearly share that sentiment, especially after last weekend’s crushing 4-1 defeat to Norwich City.

But now he’s in some other town playing noughts and no crosses with another chairman’s chequebook, we can truly appreciate the Legend of Lancashire’s hysterical genius. Now he and his misguided signings are long gone, we have the perfect opportunity to admit he made Wigan Athletic a more pleasurable place to be.

If Coyley hadn’t made emergency adjustments to the DW canteen menu, we would never have even thought of sampling the delightful orange glucose soaked strawberry doughnut. Heck, I’m now certain such a thing was a myth, and I ate one every day for three months.

…Allegedly. Apparently someone destroyed all the menus so I have no proof.

And without the Olympic standard table tennis tables OC had installed in the DW reception area, Ben Watson could never have qualified for the Wigan and District Ping Pong Preliminaries held at Higher Ince Leisure Centre in November 2013.

…Allegedly. Apparently Watson prefers not to mention he crashed out in the first round.

So when Owen Coyle walks onto the DW Stadium turf this Saturday, please do not boo, jeer or chortle uncontrollably at his borderline obscene blazer and Hawaiian shorts combination. Instead, offer a round of heartfelt applause, the thanks he never even had a chance to receive.

Thank you for laughs, Coyley! Keep on chucklin’.

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