The FA Cup: Suitable headwear for post-match parties

I have not been too well of late. Yesterday I was hallucinating that Wigan Athletic won the FA Cup so I think a trip to the doctor for stronger medication is in order. I am still unsure whether all that really did happen and that I will wake up tomorrow morning to news that Latics actually lost to Macclesfield.

I am not a pie eater, but I chewed my celebratory steak pie with pride last night, and not *just* because it was free. Wigan Athletic have produced some of their very best performances in this competition, and yesterday was no exception to the established standard. There was a bit of luck, a bit of quality and of course the goal just when it was needed – dare I say, the perfect end to a perfect cup run?

You may have already seen this stuff, but it’s definitely worth posting up here. Please enjoy this wonderful selection of videos courtesy the FA.

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Living a life of luxury at the DW Stadium has spoiled us somewhat. I miss the days of standing out on the urine-soaked, cramped terraces, blokes blowing smoke in your face and spilling beer on your brand new bright white jacket when a goal is scored. Well maybe not for those reasons, but the general banter of 2,000 fans squeezed into a 1,000-capacity terrace.

When you are so tightly packed you can lift your feet off the ground, you can’t help but overhear every little snarky comment made by those wannabe Charlie Brookers. I am thinking of starting a television programme dedicated to these kinds of people, but until I persuade Channel 5 to give me financial backing, this little list will have to suffice.

From the John Askey Terrace…

“They’ve run out of hot dogs at the concession wheelbarrow!” — Funnily enough, they had loads of pies left. Who’d have believed it, eh?

“Gomez has the turning circle of an elephant.”

“He scores ‘cos he’s poop*, Jordi Gomez, he scores ‘cos he’s poop!” — In response to the above comment (*insert rude word rhyming with kite)

“There’s only one Pink Iguana!” — Reference to Roman Golobart’s Twitter nickname

A chant about cold chips, met with an audible ‘what?’ from elsewhere in the stand.

“Look at them lot over there in the posh seats!” — Regarding Wigan fans in the covered stand

“He [Fraser Fyvie] has found his level, then.”

“He can’t understand you, he doesn’t speak English!” — After at least a minute of ‘Joel, give us a wave’ bore no fruit

The greatest cheer of the day for the local brass band at half time. “We love you brass band, we do…”

“…You’re going to hee-ell, you just booked Jesus, you’re going to hell!” — When Roger East showed Espinoza a yellow card

“Come back Mauro, all is forgiven…”

Not sure I agree with that last one, but you have to admit he does have an incredible goalscoring record away from home in cup competitions. Ah well, we’ve probably seen the last of the Ten Million Dollar Man now, so I’ll have to find someone else to take the mick out of.

For longer than I can remember, Wigan Athletic have had a special relationship with Man City that even George Bush and Tony Blair might recognise as a ‘friendship’. You see, it may be slightly off the radar to newer Latics fans (such as I, in fact), but the Blues have always been there to lend a hand where it’s been needed.

The first competitive game between Man City and a Wigan side was in 1898, when newly-formed Wigan County — the earliest attempt at establishing a football club in the town — unluckily lost 1-0 in an FA Cup Round One match.

As far as Wigan Athletic goes, the on-again, off-again relationship between the two towns can be traced back as far as 1966 when City visited Wigan for the grand opening of newly-installed floodlights at Springfield Park. After a close-fought FA Cup tie at Maine Road in 1971, the Latics would face their Manchester neighbours once more during the Seventies: an illustrious friendly at Springfield Park just one year before Wigan’s inception to the Football League. The rest, as they say, is history, and Manchester City played a big part in making it so.

It wasn’t until the late Nineties that Wigan-City contests became something of a semi-regular occurrence. Perhaps the most memorable of these was a Division 2 playoff match – the final ever game to be played at Springfield Park, which ended in a creditable 1-1 draw. Though Wigan would ultimately lose out in the two-legged tie, they would gain a modicum of revenge by beating City 1-0 in a 2002 Worthington Cup match thanks to a 35th minute Neil Roberts volley.

And that pretty much brings us up-to-date in the potted history of notable Latics-City contests. Monday night’s game sees perhaps the strongest Man City side of recent times take on a club in transition as the Roberto Martinez-led Latics pass and bumble their way to (hopefully) Premier League safety. City’s own Roberto M is looking to push for a Champions League place in what looks to be a competitive end-of-season run-in.

Right, that’s the (shamelessly biased) Wigan perspective. What we need at this point is an expert. Not just an expert, but a Manchester City expert; a lifelong supporter and professional Man United hater. Well, his blog’s URL states that Man U ruined him, so he must be. Paul Doleman of Bert Trautmann’s Neck has very kindly agreed to be interviewed on topics including Monday’s match, his side’s prospects for the season and a few other things too.

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For Latics fans old and new, a day that will live long in the memory is May 8 2005, the day Little Wigan reached the Promised Land: The Premier League.

A couple of years ago, I started work on a short video to commemorate the Latics’ promotion. Don’t ask me why it took so long, but over the weekend I got the chance to put some finishing touches to it and have finally got it online.

For your enjoyment, Twenty Minutes in May.