I love my television. It tells me what to think about things I wouldn’t otherwise be the slightest bit interested in. It is a bastion of social justice in this post-Whitehouse society, providing wholesome entertainment in an age of MTV music videos that might as well be underwear advertisements. It is a window to the…
Oh, the irony – that one derided by a great majority, with the first touch of a man made of rubber, should come within a pigeon’s fart of a hat trick (for the second time in four weeks), while the hamstrung darling of ES2 should remain unrewarded. Cruel, cruel fate! OK, Shakespeare, enough of the…
Emmerson Boyce is truly the Ringo Starr of football. Despite the fact he was narrator of the multi award-winning Thomas The Tank Engine, poor old Starsky will only ever be known as ‘the fourth best drummer in the Beatles’. Similarly, Boycey has been typecast as a Wiganer, even though he has made just as many…
Wait, really? The FA Cu- er, that competition again? Gah, I bet my sub editor £20 I wouldn’t explicitly mention the events of 2013 for the duration of this calendar month… Gnnngh, and it’s only the seventh. Those sneaky swines, how dare they fool us all by leaving that weekend of the fixture list blank…
Ah, I *knew* there was something spooky going on! Having reviewed replays of Saturday’s grisly grindfest, I have uncovered irrefutable evidence that this was, in fact, the pseudo-holiday known as All Hallows’ Eve. For you see, Swindon’s fleet of foot blockmaster extraordinaire Lawrence Vigouroux is certainly a vampire – he isn’t very good with crosses….
A lot of very odd things happened today. It all started in the DW concourse… As I approached the bar, I noticed that all the usual pre-match beverages had been replaced with a thick red substance resembling dark carrot juice. At the time I thought nothing of it – after all, there have been rumours…
Great Scott! You can forget all this televisual film time travel fakery – I really did go back in time on Sunday morning. At 2am, I loaded up teletext to watch the clock skip back exactly 60 minutes, giving me the rare opportunity to relive the previous hour of my life. Now, I would like…
Back To The Future Week has been groundbreaking in so many ways. In just seven days, we’ve witnessed the advent of the hoverboard, self-lacing trainers, smart glasses, flatscreen televisions and flying cars… but there is still no magical XBOX joypad that controls real life footballers. Or maybe there is, and the owners are just terrible…
Well, it’s up there. Not my blood pressure, but the teletext league table! Ten weeks into the season, Ceefax (or whatever they call it these days) print their first (meaningful) listings of the season, and I just so happened to spot them this week. I mean, come on – anyone would get remote control trigger…
And would you look at that? All of a sudden, from the depths of score draw ‘mediocrity‘ spawns the notion that Wigan Athletic could just about scrape their way to one hundred poi- er, a respectable League One position once the cat scratching has ceased for another comfortably anonymous season. Lo! No longer do Latics…
Gary Caldwell’s Fan Site Q&A was far too serious for JWAW’s liking. Where were the soundbites for our annual Christmas tape of blunders and general humorous comments? At this rate, I’ll have to request an audience with Mike Pollitt – I get the feeling you could comfortably fill an eight-hour VHS longplay cassette with his…
![[Audio] Fan Sites Forum with Gary Caldwell and Jonathan Jackson](https://wigan.illarterate.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/caldwell_forum_wafc.jpg)
A million and one questions, just sixty (eight) minutes to ask them. Hey, the mathematics don’t *have* to work – this is football, not the Countdown numbers game! Speaking of which, am I the only one that has never solved a single Conundrum in my life? Gah, I wish I had been able to ask…