Cancel everything this instant – Wigan Athletic have already been presented with the FA Cup! Yes, I know it’s only a three-quarter replica to replace the real McCoy (McClean? McManaman? McArth…) next to those oversized whisky bottles in the DW’s pleasingly populated cabinet. But few if any other clubs can claim they have witnessed their…
He-hey, kids! This edition’s Word of the Week is ‘flat’. Remember to scream ‘plagiarism’ whenever you hear it on the podcast! Note to parents: letting your kids play this game will almost certainly result in loss of hearing and/or fine crystal glasses. I’m not suggesting Wigan’s performance against Doncaster was flatter than a flat cap…
Agh, back to the day job it is, then. Why can’t every day be FA Cup day? Oh yeah, because the media would be even less bearable than usual – if I hear Gary Lineker utter the phrase ‘magic of the FA Cup’ one more time I will crush my final remaining Garibaldi biscuit with…
Doncaster Dan, Stand-In Stat Man is rubbish. Bring back Gareth to save us from the endless line-fluffing and mispronunciations of player names! It’s like *mainstream media outlet deleted* but without the Manchester accents and… ooh wait, what were those censored words? That’s a fun guessing game for you all to play while listening to this…
It was with great disappointment I learned that Sir Ben Watson had been harshly overlooked for the much-vaunted Ballon D’or (literal French: ‘accurate ball-kicking’) award. It is understandable that he could not attend the ceremony in person due to 10 hour-long negotiations for a new 45-year contract including a lifetime’s supply of Uncle Joe’s pie…
There is no reason why video games can’t be a force for sporting good – Formula One drivers, for example, play XBOX racing titles to familiarise themselves with that weekend’s Grand Prix circuit. However, there are two equally valid reasons why footballers shouldn’t prepare by booting up their copy of Football Manager. Firstly, they are…
Right, so it’s time to cross live(ish) to Studio PWU for our weekly rifle through the underpants drawers of Latics opinion. They’re definitely opinions rather than facts because our in-house reference material is riddled with glaring inaccuracies – that’s the last time I conduct my research on that there Jesus Was a Wiganer site. Those…
You know, I feel naked without a midweek game. *Snaps fingers* I know – we shall make our own entertainment with another of those match previews I used to do long, long ago! Wait, no, that would be far too much effort so I shall interview someone instead. The lazy blogger’s solution: ask someone else…
As Latics were cruelly consigned to the Premier League’s less wealthy ‘concrete car park training league’, there were concerns that it would be boring. “The football, and referees, are awful,” they said. While the latter is undoubtedly true (ooh, controversial? Nope), the former can be classed as utter nonsense – we have witnessed half a…
Here’s a poser for you: Where does one goal equal five points? Why, in football of course! Wigan Athletic’s impressive impersonation of a George Graham Arsenal team is a refreshing antidote to the hairy-legged hoof-ball of Wim- erm, MK… erm, Wimbledon proportions, yes. *Clears throat nervously* Speaking of famous cup winners, the battle for the…
Aww, is 2013 *really* over now? I didn’t want Wigan’s glorious FA Cup winning year to end. Hmm, this is far too positive, so let me rewind that statement… Unintelligible backmasked speech: Ckkt… [Satan has a smelly bottom] Pshhkt. [Turn me on, dead man] *Click* Ahem. Good flipping riddance to 2013, the year Wigan Athletic…
Thanks to the ever-growing pile of hate mail accumulating in my dog’s bed, I am once again forced to apologise, this time for my vaguely scatological assessment of the other weekend’s footballing events. I now understand this ain’t no Saturday morning kids’ TV show, so the cheap and thoroughly disgusting toilet humour must cease. By…