Tag: Report
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Colchester 3-3 Wigan: Assault and vigour
Oh, just go ahead and celebrate your little ‘event’! Us Wiganers don’t need such a frivolous thing as British Pie Week to honour our town’s most iconic dish – this side of the River Dougie, *every* day is Pie Day. Yep, there’s Meat ‘n’ Tater Monday, Tikka Tuesday, Pea Whet Wednesday… need I continue? I’m […]
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Wigan 1-1 Peterborough: Happy Sharpeyversary
Give or take the odd leap day, it has been approximately one year since Uncle Dave tossed those precious club keys across the Champagne Lounge to grandson David Sharpe. “I’m off to Barbados for the next ten years. Look after ‘er, will ya,” he bellowed cheerfully, the last of his words becoming faint as he […]
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Millwall 0-0 Wigan: Motoring into Mid-Table March
Melicitations, merry mentlegen! It’s Mid-Table March here at Meshuga Mel’s League One Discount Motors, and do we have the delightfully demented deals for you. [Theme from mid-90s UK TV game show ‘Trivial Pursuit with Tony Slattery’ begins to play.] Can I interest you in this sturdy 1985 Nissan Peterborough? Ah, maybe this weekend, you say? […]
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Wigan 3-0 Bury: Blame it on the bogey
“Goals for: 3. Goals against: 8. Points won: 1. Cups ripped from our snotty grasp: 2.” Thus spake Latics’ resident statman, a look of mild disgust steadily encroaching upon his otherwise gentle features. 4-0 malletings in the Ben Watson Memorial Trophy can transform the most optimistic of supporters into miserable mopers in the short space […]
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Walsall 1-2 Wigan: The Art of Football
Football is an artform – of that, there is no doubt. But I would stop short of classifying it as a fine Renaissance triptych, Beethovenian symphony or even a Hurstian cow sliced clean in half. No, I like to think the sport is much more unconventional, edgy and mischievous – in that sense, it is […]
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Wigan 0-0 Oldham: Rugball
Jonathan Jackson must know a very good carpet fitter. Because every time I have attempted to lay one, it has taken much longer than a couple of days. In fact, I think I still need to pin down the shag pile behind that cupboard – you know, the one containing the large plastic cup gathering […]
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Sheffield United 0-2 Wigan: Cluckin’ brilliant
“I’ve done it, Grandad,” he said, slamming down the phone receiver. “Done what, Grandson? The transfer window has been closed for five days now.” “I’ve signed Nando’s for Wigan Robin Park! Now we won’t need to re-open that curry shop outside the North Stand.” “Oh! Well, if you think this ‘Nann-doss’ chap is any good…” […]
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Wigan U18 1-3 Man City U18 (AET): Surprisingly posh
Let’s be brutally honest – Ben Watson probably means nothing to Manchester City fans. Yeah, some might have suffered mildly bruised egos when Sir Benjamin leapt to defeat Joe Hart from 6 yards, but such things quickly became lost among title challenges, superstar signings and breathtaking European nights. …All of which serves to further magnify […]
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Wigan 3-0 Port Vale: The Grigg Frost
Well, viewers, it’s been a busy week here at the JWAW Transfer Window. Staring at this pane of frosted glass for seven long days, I have just about been able to distinguish the figure of a dog… or maybe it was a horse – I can’t be bothered getting up to move the voile obscuring […]
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Crewe 1-1 Wigan: Moneyball
Being a football supporter is ruddy awful. You work 40 hours a week to pay £300+ for the train, ticket, hotel, bus, coach, pie and toilet turnstile just so you can watch 22 blokes with haircuts more expensive than your car fall over delicately, screeching in apparent ‘pain’. And as for goals, you’ll be lucky […]