July 15, 2024
JCB pitch repair

The groundsman makes last minute repairs to the pitch.

JCB pitch repair
The groundsman makes last minute repairs to the DW surface.

Mr Whelan would make a great stand-up comedian. Never before have his improvisational skills been more apparent than at 2:55pm on Saturday afternoon at the nightclub that is the DW Stadium. People jeering behind your back? Remind them of the solitary advantage you have over them – that they haven’t won the FA Cup in 25 years. Now that’s how you deal with hecklers!

Certain internet weblogs can learn an awful lot from Uncle Dave’s methods. When the flicker of a flamer pollutes the air, do not pick apart their argument with great care and attention, for it satisfies only one person – the troll itself. A much better alternative would be to stick it in the microwave and watch it melt, as Bart Simpson would have done. That’s, er, the action figure I’m talking about here, not the guy calling you a n00b.

Ladies and gentlemen, Progress With Unity and screw the haters! No, I said ‘haters’, a relatively modern internet term meaning ‘those who hate’ – I do not wish to sell my gas heater, thank you very much. Although I’ll give it to you for £100 and a ticket for the Watford game if you’re genuinely offering to buy it.

YouTube version

Contents: Intro to the PWU Bored of Directors (0:00); Leeding the blind: dog-gone Leeds review (1:30) including Fortune, eh? (3:00) and Whelan’s alternative comedy routine (12:20); slap my pitch up (13:30); PWU Question Time: Malky’s long term plans? (15:30), Perch-Kvist midfield partnership? (26:00) and Sir Ben’s homecoming (28:20) and major simulation (29:40); Rovrum preview (32:00); FABulous Fans’ Advisory Board review including pie chat (39:20) and queuing measures (49:20); keeping your pencils Sharpe (51:10) including in for a rough ride? (55:10); Development Squad update (57:20)

Get involved!

Progress With Unity is still the one and only weekly Wigan Athletic fan podcast on the web. If you wish to get involved or have any topics you’d like to be discussed, please get in touch with Barry at wigan@vitalfootball.co.uk, marking your email PWU Podcast.

Tweet us your questions and comments: @PWUPodcast

I would recite the necessary games-to-wins ratio for Wigan to stay up, Noel Edmonds-style, but I do not wish to be associated with a ‘game show’ of such dubious value. Wait, do they still screen that guessing game with the boxes? At least with Countdown you can actually play along at home as opposed to watch a bloke with a moustache tell you it’s time for a break every five minutes.

Erm... aha, "waiting"!
Hahah! You wondered where I was going with that, didn’t you?

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ll have to replace the leaking battery in my Wigan Athletic branded clock. I’ll let you know when it’s done via those handy/annoying (delete as appropriate) PWU Twitter, iTunes, RSS and app pages, which you can use your mouse to access as you see fit. Go on, I’ll just wait here until you’ve finished and resume the innuendo-tinged sarcasm upon your return.

Mr Whelan’s speech in full courtesy Laticsofficial

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5 thoughts on “PWU Wigan Athletic Podcast No. 119: Under con-troll

  1. Yesterday I bumped into Mr Whelan in Pemberton and gave him a 1959-60 Wigan Ath supporters membership book. I thought it was appropriate that he should have it because, of course that’s the year he got his leg bust at Wembley, and that’s when the whole story started. I mentioned how the way he stuck it to the away end on Saturday was mint. He is a true gentleman and has eyes like a hawk. The writing in this thing was minute, but he could read it easily without glasses. I couldn’t. I nearly asked him for a lift down to Mac D’s in Newtown but thought, nah. True story that Dan.

  2. By the way, before you ask, I’m not that old. I came by it when my granddad popped his clogs.

  3. Oh, you mean Dave wasn’t going to McDonald’s at the time? I wonder if he’s more of a chippy kind of bloke? 😉

    Maybe he’ll showcase that book in a forthcoming interview/documentary about the 1960 FA Cup Final. I have no idea what the final score was, you know! As far as I’m aware, the outcome was one broken leg to nought.

    Did you ask him whether the dig at the Leeds fans was spur of the moment, or if it was planned? “Thank you for that…” was my favourite bit!

  4. I get the feeling it was just a reaction to the away end’s ignorance mate. All he said was “They were very bad mannered”. Just as well he didn’t see my gesticulations to them from ES2. To be honest Dan it was a handshake and a very brief meeting of two great men. Dave had meetings to attend, and I had a Deli of the day with a white coffee. I decided to weigh my loyalty stickers in for the coffee.

  5. Hah, I was in ES2 at the time too, and I could barely hear what he was saying over the din! I’ll say they were bad mannered, but I guess that was to be expected. It was funny to hear him tell them off like a schoolteacher, then turn his back on them!

    Ah, I see – you both had your own meetings to get to. I wonder if there are loyalty stickers at the DW canteen? If so, Mr Whelan must be the one handing them out. 😉

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