The groundsman makes last minute repairs to the DW surface.
Mr Whelan would make a great stand-up comedian. Never before have his improvisational skills been more apparent than at 2:55pm on Saturday afternoon at the nightclub that is the DW Stadium. People jeering behind your back? Remind them of the solitary advantage you have over them – that they haven’t won the FA Cup in 25 years. Now that’s how you deal with hecklers!
Certain internet weblogs can learn an awful lot from Uncle Dave’s methods. When the flicker of a flamer pollutes the air, do not pick apart their argument with great care and attention, for it satisfies only one person – the troll itself. A much better alternative would be to stick it in the microwave and watch it melt, as Bart Simpson would have done. That’s, er, the action figure I’m talking about here, not the guy calling you a n00b.
Ladies and gentlemen, Progress With Unity and screw the haters! No, I said ‘haters’, a relatively modern internet term meaning ‘those who hate’ – I do not wish to sell my gas heater, thank you very much. Although I’ll give it to you for £100 and a ticket for the Watford game if you’re genuinely offering to buy it.
Contents: Intro to the PWU Bored of Directors (0:00); Leeding the blind: dog-gone Leeds review (1:30) including Fortune, eh? (3:00) and Whelan’s alternative comedy routine (12:20); slap my pitch up (13:30); PWU Question Time: Malky’s long term plans? (15:30), Perch-Kvist midfield partnership? (26:00) and Sir Ben’s homecoming (28:20) and major simulation (29:40); Rovrum preview (32:00); FABulous Fans’ Advisory Board review including pie chat (39:20) and queuing measures (49:20); keeping your pencils Sharpe (51:10) including in for a rough ride? (55:10); Development Squad update (57:20)
Progress With Unity is still the one and only weekly Wigan Athletic fan podcast on the web. If you wish to get involved or have any topics you’d like to be discussed, please get in touch with Barry at email@example.com, marking your email PWU Podcast.
I would recite the necessary games-to-wins ratio for Wigan to stay up, Noel Edmonds-style, but I do not wish to be associated with a ‘game show’ of such dubious value. Wait, do they still screen that guessing game with the boxes? At least with Countdown you can actually play along at home as opposed to watch a bloke with a moustache tell you it’s time for a break every five minutes.
Hahah! You wondered where I was going with that, didn’t you?
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ll have to replace the leaking battery in my Wigan Athletic branded clock. I’ll let you know when it’s done via those handy/annoying (delete as appropriate) PWU Twitter, iTunes,RSS and app pages, which you can use your mouse to access as you see fit. Go on, I’ll just wait here until you’ve finished and resume the innuendo-tinged sarcasm upon your return.