Alternative Match Highlights: ‘Welcome Back to the Championship’ Blackburn-Birmingham Super Edition

Don’t worry if you missed them first time round – each of these highlights will be available on VHS this Christmas as part of Coyle’s Golden Gaffes 2016: Who Needs The Olympics?

Blackburn.

The Rovers fans’ sudden decision to boycott the game and head for the bar as soon as Wigan’s second goal hit the net. The hardy ones that remained were reduced to cheering for substitutions and a couple of misplaced Wigan passes in the second half. Ahh, being able to make one’s own entertainment is an admirable skill.

Owen Coyle’s surprising outfit: he was the only one on the Blackburn bench wearing tracksuit pants as opposed to his usual shorts. Hmm, he must be a tad fashion conscious after reading last week’s WEP 12th Man column…

Edit: I have it on good authority that Coyle and Gary Lineker orchestrated a clothing swap for one day only. The latter presented the first ten minutes of Match of the Day in just his (or maybe Owen’s) shorts.

New Blackburn boss Owen Coyle appearing on a terrestrial highlights show to remind us that he “didn’t inherit a team of champions”. A knowing nod to Gary Caldwell’s League One winning team, perhaps? Good old Coyley, we knew you loved Wigan Athletic all along!

Enough pants talk. On to the Birmingham game.

David Perkins bashing one just over the bar in the first ten minutes. Had that crept in, you could have stopped football forever as the sport would have achieved its final goal – letting Perks score for Wigan Athletic.

Adam Bogdan’s extraordinary mind control techniques, which allowed him to easily predict the direction of Clayton Donaldson’s penalty kick. Maybe the keeper should have used his powers on the officials instead.

The highly enthusiastic East Stand single-handedly inspiring Latics to a much warranted last-minute equaliser. Well OK, maybe having every one of the club’s attacking options on the field also had something to do with it…

…And that last one was dangerously close to an actual highlight, so we shall leave it there for another week, dear reader.

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