It isn’t often I get to see a game that doesn’t feature Wigan Athletic these days, but on Sunday afternoon I made a point of watching the Stoke-Swansea Premier League match. It *did* mean forfeiting lunch due to my habit of spraying my TV screen with half-chewed mashed potato when the ref gives a dodgy…
At approximately 3am this morning, I awoke with a start screaming “Delort, nooo!” Although it might seem unusual coming from President of the Happy Clappy Club Wigan branch, I promise you it’s true – the neighbours will not only confirm this, but also the precise time they were cruelly disturbed. International breaks could only mask…
*Alcohol-fuelled studio audience applauds wildly* “And the final contestant to play our first game is… Marc-Antoine Fortune! Come on down and join fellow contestants Leon Barnett and Nouha Dicko for our big money ‘Guess My Transfer Fee’ Round!” OK, this is where I switch off the television, because that is one show I don’t want…
“And it was onne the thirrtieth of Sepptember that the Wyganne Piemen and Nottyngham Trees dydd battle jn the fields offe the Northwestern Lands; wyth Uncle Joe and whomsoever that did creatte the Vymto tonnic in attendance; kycking leather from vyllagge to vyllagge with great viggour; and internette bloggers wrytyng artijcles of questionable punctuatjon and…
Perhaps the most exciting news from this weekend is the shocking confirmation that ghosts do indeed exist. Nope, I ain’t talking about the not-at-all fabricated New Mexico police station CCTV footage of a shadowy figure that made the mainstream news on Saturday morning. I’m referring to the ‘phantom matches’ that have totally drained Wigan Athletic…
Welcome, sports fans, to Mooonday Niiight Footbaaaalll! For 90 minutes, you can forget the drudgery of the week’s most dreary day with a ball game of extreme radicalness. Prepare yourself for the biggest hits and most awesome touchdowns this side of Mrs Sippy! Yeah, she’s pretty big, but not as big as Mooonday Niight Footballl!…
Hey, fancy a John Smith’s warm-down? Nah, neither do I – the thought of hot beer doesn’t necessarily appeal for some reason. Plus it’s work in the morning and I can’t risk marrying a lamp-post on the way home again. Best forget all about it and stick to the bog standard post-match rant. A-but first,…
Strikers, who needs ’em? You hand over the remains of your copper jar to fund their bus journey to the DW Stadium (or in this case, Ewood Park) and it’s the midfielders and defenders that grab the precious goal bonus. Which, considering the world’s current economic climate, is probably one individually wrapped mint chocolate ‘acquired’…
I heard a joke that made me chuckle today. It went something like: “What’s the difference between a box of matches and Wigan Athletic? A box of matches has a striker.” Forget the fact that rough, sandpapery stuff on a matchbox isn’t officially called a ‘striker’ because it’s only a silly joke. Besides, it’s now…
Hangovers are invariably horrendous, and I’m not just talking about the films. I’m dreading that sobering up process even more than a marathon of said movie franchise, as after a spot of Callum McChamomile tea, I’m afraid I will discover that half the team has disappeared… and not just because my drunken double vision will…
At the Reading game, you might have heard a lone voice from the away end belting out a drunken rendition of ‘can we play you every week?’ Turns out it wasn’t a supporter, but a player known as Sean Morrison – the very same that edged his side ahead with just over ten minutes to…
Fancy a spot of cheeky time travel on this unseasonably windy Saturday evening? Why not – it’ll be a welcome distraction from the three days of nose-hair trimming until our next fixture. The (electronic) record books tell me it is precisely 11 years since Wigan played out an exciting… 1-1 draw with Preston North End…