Mindblown: a blog about philosophy.
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Wigan 0 Sheffield Wednesday 1: Grab a Grand
Tulips flower so brightly for all too short a time, while clogs toast so nicely upon the wood burning stove for an even shorter time. Aye, austerity in Wigan is a right pain in the Wildschut, in’t it? Ahh, the transfer window. You might run for those borders and the safety of Horwich, or you […]
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Man United 4 Wigan 0: We’re watching you
It’s true – we do act differently when we know we’re being observed. Sociology has named this phenomenon the Hawthorne effect. Okay, so Mr Cadbury Q. Hawthorne (otherwise known as Henry A. Landsberger) probably wasn’t referring to a footballing cup tie when he coined that term. But every supporter knows that as soon as those […]
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Why Sam Morsy’s sweatband is magical
It has yet to be placed on the list of banned headgear alongside bowler hats, feather bonnets and those baseball caps with helicopter blades you see in Looney Tunes cartoons. Amazing! It’s made from the fabric of Paul Daniels’ most successful magic hat. Morsy is never short of emergency handkerchiefs, coloured thimbles or playing cards […]
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Wigan 2 Brentford 1: Morsymania
And now, dear reader: a special announcement from the one and onlyyyy Warrington Jaaaay Jooooyce. “This is a message fer allt’ Beemaniacs ‘eading down to Robin Park Square Garden on Sat’dy afternoon at 3pm, live only ont’ exclusive Sly Sporks 2 pay per view netwuk fer just £29.99+VAT+GMT+GCSE 0800 91250284 (get card owner’s permission before […]
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Good tidings we bring – Joycey is our king!
Verily, this is Warren’s Column. Oh sorry, where are my 12th Manners? It’s King Warren’s Column! My word, I do hope I’m not beheaded for that remark… The Wigan Athletic press conference room, replete with ornate patterned wallpaper and gold plated sandwich trays, is filled with an expectant hum. Suddenly, three trumpeters burst forth from […]
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Burton 0 Wigan 2: Golden Knights
Alright, so despite the hammyteur Twitter meteorologists’ predictions, it never did snow in Burton upon Trent today. But on Friday morning, the Met Office (presumably a wild new joint venture of the Metro newspaper and the Post Office) issued ‘yellow warnings’ of ice in Staffordshire. From this we can only assume that the county’s dog […]
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Who left that window open?
The football transfer window is the exemplification of Sturgeon’s Law, namely: ‘ninety percent of everything is rubbish’. Except in this case, that remaining ten percent of players wish to spend transfer deadline day suckling a mug of baconated Bovril by the cyan glow of their favourite teletext page. For the sake of claritainment (clarity + […]
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Wigan 2 Nottingham Forest 0: Edge of Tomorrow
Please welcome Warren Garton Joyce, Wigan Athletic’s newest and foremost ‘edgelord’. The sort of guy who, like a dog, watches you eat for fifteen minutes before snatching that precious final morsel of tuna casserole from your plate. A man who catches all his perch two minutes before packing up his tackle in a Ryan Giggs […]
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A New Year’s article written by the Internet
Happy New Week, Latisticians. Because I’m a poor writer and can’t generate 400 words of original content without resorting to random sentence generation software, here is a selection of New Year’s messages stolen from social networking Internet website trollfacebook.com. At 12:01AM on 1 January 2017, LatikAsthmatic wrote: ”Happy New Ye- hey, why hasn’t Warren signed […]
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Wigan 0 Huddersfield 1: Say you want a resolution?
It’s gone, guys. 2016 has just been lost to the greatest monster of all, the omnipotent and most certainly malevolent entity that keeps the Grim Reaper in check: Master Time. There he lurches amidst the dugout’s stony silence, his expressionless face barely cracking through mindless mumbling and guttural grumbling. …But enough about Graham Barrow. And […]
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