Oh, for a season without disruption. Oh, for Championship Manager style outcomes calculated using the raw skill data of individual players. Oh, for robotic super referees that make hypercorrect decisions 100.2% of the time. Actually, screw all that – it would be as boring as Michael McIntyre’s ‘soccer gossip’ page on Ceefax. Which they cancelled…
Around this time every four years, the people of Wigan go sports crazy. Today I saw a bloke dive bomb into his back yard paddling pool and a kid toss a hammer through some poor guy’s fishing net. Yesterday someone lobbed a pool ball from their shoulder into the beer garden, before… well, I won’t…
Never you fear, dear Latic, for your Knight in Shining Double Glazing is here! The January transfer window offers an escape route from a rather smoky room… pity it’s on the 25th floor and you’ll hit the window cleaner well before the ground. But maybe those that have already departed will break your fall? Perhaps,…
The Christmas party may be over, but do not fear, for Easter will soon be upon us. I know this because my local supermarket now stocks Cadbury’s Creme Egg five packs – presumably the sixth ones have been set aside for Emile Heskey‘s birthday party tomorrow afternoon. He didn’t invite me as I accidentally revealed…
So this is the year 2015, eh? Doesn’t look much like the future to me – where are the hovercars and entire Sunday meals in a single pill? And why haven’t Wigan Athletic won the Premier League trophy yet? This is nothing like Hollywood told me it would be – I want my money back,…
After three weeks of fighting through the Central American jungle, the remaining members of the Progress With Unity Podcast, led by Major Barry ‘Dutch’ Worthington, have finally destroyed the evil lurking within. As the predatory Michael Mouse is now caught in a man-sized rat trap, those members held captive at this twisted Disneyland resort are…
I heard a joke that made me chuckle today. It went something like: “What’s the difference between a box of matches and Wigan Athletic? A box of matches has a striker.” Forget the fact that rough, sandpapery stuff on a matchbox isn’t officially called a ‘striker’ because it’s only a silly joke. Besides, it’s now…
Sorry to be pe-trollin’ you with that title and image caption, but I thought I’d prepare you for the manic media meltdown that is Transfer Deadline Day (always capitalised). On that basis, we have to cover it, eh? Please find attached a 14-page document outlining the skills and attributes of each Latics player as determined…
As Uwe Rosler approached the DW Stadium on Monday morning, he was nigh on suffocated by reporters and small time internet webloggers clamouring for an explanation. “Uwe,” screamed a strangled voice from the rabble, “just how will your team recover from this disastrous barren run?” Uwe’s wry smile was answer enough. Yep, apparently two straight…
So you thought you might like to listen to the show? To hear the noise of delusion, PWU’s Facebook-esque… erm, moan? Hmm, I never was much of a lyricist. Also it’s a good job they’re changing the copyright law, otherwise I might have been receiving a call from Roger Waters’ legal team for those first…