Why, dear reader? Why would you ever feel the evil urge to buy one of those terrible third-rate excuses for bedroom pseudo-furniture? The annoying little balls get lodged in your groin area, causing stealth bum numbness that only seems to materialise when you attempt to stand. And tell me why you would want a tangerine-coloured…
As you read this message in the year 2036, much of Blackpool vs. Wigan ’16 has passed into the annals of Latics lore. Scarcely has a single game of kickball received quite as much build-up – from the minute this fixture was announced to the moment match ref Stuart Attwell finally tootled on his tin…
Got your snow boots and parka ready? Good, because Blackpool beach beckons and I don’t like the look of that weather forecast. Forget sandcastles, you’d be better served building snowcastles! Fetch the mop bucket and shovel, I fancy making a snow-Caldwell… Hard to believe it’s almost August and Latics’ latest campaign to crush the Championship…
All of a sudden, I know exactly what that Derren Brown bloke is talking about. The power of suggestion is all around us at this time of year. As I stared at the waist-high pile of Jacob’s boxes hidden in a dark corner of my sizeable drinks cabinet, I suddenly realised why I thought to…
Have you ever felt as though you’re being followed? A strange feeling that, even though you’re rambling through some obscure untrodden part of the countryside, you’re still going to bump into that guy – the same bloke you seem to meet in a totally different place every six months or so. It’s not as if…
Neil Robertson, what a guy! On becoming the first player to make a maximum break in the UK Championship Final, he dedicated his achievement to 147 editions of the Progress With Unity Podcast. We don’t have the heart to tell him my numbering system is flawed and that there have actually been 176 episodes if…
Oh, the irony – that one derided by a great majority, with the first touch of a man made of rubber, should come within a pigeon’s fart of a hat trick (for the second time in four weeks), while the hamstrung darling of ES2 should remain unrewarded. Cruel, cruel fate! OK, Shakespeare, enough of the…
Emmerson Boyce is truly the Ringo Starr of football. Despite the fact he was narrator of the multi award-winning Thomas The Tank Engine, poor old Starsky will only ever be known as ‘the fourth best drummer in the Beatles’. Similarly, Boycey has been typecast as a Wiganer, even though he has made just as many…
Ah, I *knew* there was something spooky going on! Having reviewed replays of Saturday’s grisly grindfest, I have uncovered irrefutable evidence that this was, in fact, the pseudo-holiday known as All Hallows’ Eve. For you see, Swindon’s fleet of foot blockmaster extraordinaire Lawrence Vigouroux is certainly a vampire – he isn’t very good with crosses….
Thank you, thank you all! We had so many positive comments about last week’s guest appearance from the resident Book Cycle fax machine that we’ve booked the human telephone for later in the season. And just to translate the previous paragraph, that ‘fax machine’ interference was actually down to a mystery panellist forgetting to turn…
Don’t let the February weather or those twelve remaining games convince you otherwise – today’s match was as significant as any end-of-season decider deep into April or at the beginning of May. West Ham 2011? A relatively simple task in comparison. Sheffield United 2007? Pah, the tasteless 30-second microwave meal to this afternoon’s four course…
You know, sometimes it is better not to state the plainly obvious. Though I haven’t explicitly shouted it out loud before today, there exists an undoubted resignation that League One football is a prospect as real as the Ghostbusters in that 80s cartoon series. Well, if it’s in the name they must be ‘real’! Anyway,…