We would like to wish goalkeeping coach Mike Pollitt a very Happy 11th Birthday for 29th February. Since such occasions only arrive every four years, it is an event to be celebrated… with a thumping 3-0 victory over the Farnworth Flyer’s former side. Oh, didn’t you know? Polly was benchwarmer for the Saddlers at the…
“Goals for: 3. Goals against: 8. Points won: 1. Cups ripped from our snotty grasp: 2.” Thus spake Latics’ resident statman, a look of mild disgust steadily encroaching upon his otherwise gentle features. 4-0 malletings in the Ben Watson Memorial Trophy can transform the most optimistic of supporters into miserable mopers in the short space…
We shouldn’t really talk about the FA Cup, seeing as Wigan are no longer part of this year’s competition. But I can’t resist – the nostalgic lure of summer 2013 looms large in my nostrils like the fragrant aroma of fresh pigeon droppings. Hey, it reminds me of Haigh Hall, okay? Observers of Man City’s…
Oh, the irony – that one derided by a great majority, with the first touch of a man made of rubber, should come within a pigeon’s fart of a hat trick (for the second time in four weeks), while the hamstrung darling of ES2 should remain unrewarded. Cruel, cruel fate! OK, Shakespeare, enough of the…
Wait, really? The FA Cu- er, that competition again? Gah, I bet my sub editor £20 I wouldn’t explicitly mention the events of 2013 for the duration of this calendar month… Gnnngh, and it’s only the seventh. Those sneaky swines, how dare they fool us all by leaving that weekend of the fixture list blank…
Ah, I *knew* there was something spooky going on! Having reviewed replays of Saturday’s grisly grindfest, I have uncovered irrefutable evidence that this was, in fact, the pseudo-holiday known as All Hallows’ Eve. For you see, Swindon’s fleet of foot blockmaster extraordinaire Lawrence Vigouroux is certainly a vampire – he isn’t very good with crosses….
As I type, a mysterious substance is trickling down my window pane, leaving behind a suspicious trail of sandy residue. Upon further inspection, this appears to be the material they call ‘rain’ – yes, I believe I’ve heard it mentioned by the 100,000ft man that towers over the United Kingdom. Don’t tell me you haven’t…
As you probably know by now, League One is no place for great footballing sides. It is a place for procrastinating ball boys and the soggy, half-eaten packet of Revels they call the referee pool. It is a place where cards are cheaper than the bargain bin at Birthday Box during half price happy hour…
Zzzzz… snore. Muh-Maloney into Watsurrrn… yeah… zzzZzzzZzz… Huh, what? Why’d you have to wake me when I was dreaming of Wembley again? Well, while we’re on the subject for the 3,094,874th day in a row, remember that *other* time Latics scored a last minute winner at the DW holiday home? The prize that day was…
“No! I will not sit around and wait until Wigan get better. I want us to play well now, yesterday and the day after tomorrow. Only victory shall suffice, and anything else is a sackable offence. Must… win… nooowww…” Okay, calm down there, inner monologue… oh dear, looks like I’ve been playing far too much…
Good morning and welcome to Supermarket Sweep, with me, Dale Winton! Yes, those crazy marketing execs have briefly revived this urban kleptomaniac’s dream of a game show for the purpose of a tired joke on a sub-Geocities backwater internet blogsite. Incidentally, don’t expect further episodes as we’re using cameramen’s packed lunches to stock the shelves,…
This summer, I decided it was time for a change. Instead of scrutinising behind closed doors friendlies in minute detail, I will save my excitement for the start of the league season – there are, after all, six games scheduled for the next three weeks. I figure it is better to pace yourself than blow…