A disappointing lack of mullets here. Original pic (c)Franklin Photo
Yesterday was class photo day for Form Group DW at Latics Comprehensive. If this particular school is like every other, we can safely assume that the shoot overran by seven hours, causing all curricular activities to be postponed. As happens every year, a group of delinquents set off the canteen fire alarm and blamed it on the dinner ladies ‘overcooking the toast’. The perpetrators are still to be identified, otherwise they would certainly have been barred from the team photo. Again.
Headmaster Caldwell has released the following statement:
The photographer can still airbrush you out, so you’d better pray you aren’t caught in the next two weeks. Also, no pudding until you’ve eaten yer meat.
You can tell he’s in a particularly lenient mood due to recent three-goal heroics – such offences normally warrant a stint in the broom cupboard with the caretaker. And how do we know this? Well, leaked documents from the recent Fans Advisory Board meeting reveal the extent of Mr Caldwell’s punishments involving that secret dressing room dungeon.
It’s an exclusive not to be missed! Download this week’s edition of the Progress With Unity Podcast for the bargain basement price of zero pence right now and we’ll throw in 30 minutes of conjecture absolutely free (of meaningful content).
Contents: Welcome to the intros, pop pickers (0:00); From The Terraces: on-the-spot Chesterfield review with Simon (1:10), Substitute Statman Adam (3:49), Mick’s Kitchen Nightmares (13:00); PWU Roundtable: who has impressed so far? (16:20); Emergency Loan Alert (26:00) including Watson Man City’s mind? (28:00); Barry’s comprehensive Port Vale preview (28:10) including Latics Links (32:30) and scary predictions (35:00); a mostly musical FAB report with Barry (36:20); Bazza’s Wigan 10k retirement plans (44:25)
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Had enough of school already? Some kid pinched your brand new pens and melted them together on the radiator? Still another three years until you grow into your sweater? Teacher cadging your e-cig for his own personal use? Cheer up, there are only another ten short months until the summer holidays.
What’s that you say? Autumn isn’t here until the cricket season ends, so I’ve got about a week to book a speedy last minute holiday to my garden shed? Excellent! Quick, take PWU’s Twitter, iTunes,RSS and app pages while I consult whatever it is that replaced teletext in 2012.