Why hello, darlings! I’m just preparing my house for the John Stones Paint makeover team, who will soon be paying a visit to JWAW Towers for a faaaab-ulous spot of DIT. I won’t have to lift a finger as they do it themselves, picking the hamster hairs from my plug holes and repainting the man-sized…
The burning question on this week’s PWU Podcast: exactly how did Burton Albion defeat Wigan Athletic? Was it through persistent pressing and brickwall defensive sensibilities? Was it through effective handling of late November conditions and sheer physical strength? Or maybe it was because they had the correct players in the correct position to sidefoot home…
Savour it while you still can, chaps! Fairly soon, on-demand league tables via your television could be a thing of the past as Auntie Beeb phases out the Red Button, formerly Ceefax. Best ready your anti-Arnold devices, for this surely signals the end of the convenience age and the beginning of the Skynet automated thought…
Oh, the irony – that one derided by a great majority, with the first touch of a man made of rubber, should come within a pigeon’s fart of a hat trick (for the second time in four weeks), while the hamstrung darling of ES2 should remain unrewarded. Cruel, cruel fate! OK, Shakespeare, enough of the…
Ah, I *knew* there was something spooky going on! Having reviewed replays of Saturday’s grisly grindfest, I have uncovered irrefutable evidence that this was, in fact, the pseudo-holiday known as All Hallows’ Eve. For you see, Swindon’s fleet of foot blockmaster extraordinaire Lawrence Vigouroux is certainly a vampire – he isn’t very good with crosses….
Great Scott! You can forget all this televisual film time travel fakery – I really did go back in time on Sunday morning. At 2am, I loaded up teletext to watch the clock skip back exactly 60 minutes, giving me the rare opportunity to relive the previous hour of my life. Now, I would like…
Well, it’s up there. Not my blood pressure, but the teletext league table! Ten weeks into the season, Ceefax (or whatever they call it these days) print their first (meaningful) listings of the season, and I just so happened to spot them this week. I mean, come on – anyone would get remote control trigger…
![[Audio] Fan Sites Forum with Gary Caldwell and Jonathan Jackson](http://wigan.illarterate.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/caldwell_forum_wafc.jpg)
A million and one questions, just sixty (eight) minutes to ask them. Hey, the mathematics don’t *have* to work – this is football, not the Countdown numbers game! Speaking of which, am I the only one that has never solved a single Conundrum in my life? Gah, I wish I had been able to ask…
As I type, a mysterious substance is trickling down my window pane, leaving behind a suspicious trail of sandy residue. Upon further inspection, this appears to be the material they call ‘rain’ – yes, I believe I’ve heard it mentioned by the 100,000ft man that towers over the United Kingdom. Don’t tell me you haven’t…
Zzzzz… snore. Muh-Maloney into Watsurrrn… yeah… zzzZzzzZzz… Huh, what? Why’d you have to wake me when I was dreaming of Wembley again? Well, while we’re on the subject for the 3,094,874th day in a row, remember that *other* time Latics scored a last minute winner at the DW holiday home? The prize that day was…
Crikey! We’re barely into October and the Jose Mourinho squad rotation is already creeping into Captain Cald’s team sheet composition. I like to think he sits in front of his Brother typewriter and painstakingly constructs them with one finger, letter by letter… because that’s certainly what I would do. In fact it formed the central…
Yesterday was the first day of autumn, and it really doesn’t surprise me. Because even though Saturday’s game played out under sunny skies, the DW surface betrayed the true time of year. Minds were cast back to Septembers past, with pitches soggier than a slice of toast covered in a particularly runny bean sauce and…